Memento Mori

Wow, it feels like i haven't posted in forever, which is kind of true, so forgive me =p But anyways, lots of new things in my life. I got a tattoo!! haha its pretty small but its my first and it has a lot of meaning to me, so i figured I would explain it here. Its on the back of my neck and it is the Latin phrase 'Memento Mori'. The true translation is 'Remember that you will die' or 'Remember you're not invincible'. But the tattoo also has several meanings to me. I decided to get this tattoo after my friend Pam passed away (RIP). After she passed, all i could think about is how unappreciative and selfish I've been when it comes to life. She was a good person, always happy and glowing, she was some one that never deserved to leave this world so quickly. I realized how precious life is, you cant take it likely, and thinking of suicide is just pointless, because she was some one whose life was taken from her. We all deserve a chance at life and making what we can of it. So now whenever I look at my tattoo, it reminds me to live life, for anyday may be my last. Life can be taken away in an instant whether you like it or not. Aside from that the tattoo can also be taken in another sense when you think of humanity. Remembering that you arent invincible.. that you are mortal, it makes us all equal. You realize we all have the same fate, the same ending, which brings us together because we all have the same purpose. And me, being some one with no religion preferrence, this holds a lot of meaning to me because sometimes i feel like thats the only way I can relate to some one who does. Because when you really think about, no one really knows what comes after death, but we are all certain that we will die, and we all hold the same mystery. There are many ways that the tattoo can be taken but in my case its just a reminder that life is too short to feel sorry for yourself, that I need to go out and make something of myself and be the best 'Charlene' I can be.

I'm tripping on all the time, I'm tripping on high seas.

I am so frustrated. I am trying so hard with this whole new 'college experience' but all i keep getting is negatives in return. I am always trying to do my homework and get everything done, but i feel like i never have the time or when i need help, theres no one there who can. My friend plans on dropping out this week because he was going through the same troubles as me, and plans on going on a road trip for the next 2 months. I WISH I could do the same, i have the money and they time, so why cant I? oh yeah, thats right i've got some one else paying for my education and just started this new job. For a life thats supposed to be in the fast lane and exciting, i feel like i have many restrictions now when it comes to living it. I feel like i need to more time, more space, to breath and actually be able to step back and look at my life and see where it needs to be. I feel like i really have all of my priorities wrong and have been ignoring/neglecting the people who really help me get by everyday. I dont know, its just been sitting in the back of my mind lately. well, here comes another weekend, i vow to do better in school starting monday!!

Live Fast. Die Pretty.

I finally sat back yesterday in my computer chair and realized i havent sat there in weeks. With this new life, I'm always either at school, work, or with friends. I havent been by myself in what feels like a long time. It was only till recently that i had all of this freedom from my parents and their strict rules, so what I'm wondering is now that I'm the most exhausted I've ever been in my life, is this what i really wanted? Am i getting what i wished for? i could be noble and say that i ate with my eyes and that what I wanted is way too overrrated. But i wont, I've wanted to be free like my fellow peers for so long I'm soaking in all i can of this life i have now. Me being tired is just a sign that I'm living life to the fullest, I am working hard and partying hard. i can admit that this point in my life is the happiest I've ever been and i wouldnt change it for the world.

Creeping in the Kitchen.

For my first blog I figured I would just introduce myself and pretty much let out everything that I am about. My name is Charlene and I am an out-going, outspoken 18 year old woman, without a care in the world. I have just started college and my first job, and my current goal is just to completely better myself, and learn more and more each day. over the past few years through highschool I have learned that a lot people come and go through your life. So my view on any kind of relationship, whether it be parent, friend, or lover is to learn from your experiences with them even if its good or bad, you should still try to see the silver lining and see what it is you can learn from it. I believe that every person you meet your life is just another path that you choose to pursue or not. Through people you learn about trust and loyalty but you also learn about betrayal and manipulation, but at the same time you have to give out the same energy you wish to recieve. As you go on in life you see that not everyone is there to help you, there are those who wish to see you fall. You have to learn to be careful, to not be naive and believe everything that is fed to you. l dont like to live by other peoples ideas or words, but if i had to choose something to live by that completely describes how i feel about the world, it would have to be Shakespeare's "Love all, Trust Few, Do wrong to none".